2 For 2

I don't know how your new year has been going, but mine could be better. For the last two Saturdays, I've had two of the worst hangovers of my life. Not that I'm going to blame anyone but myself for my condition but I'm just amazed at just how bad I feel the day after drinking.

I've spent many a New Year's Eve torturing my liver by drinking every liquor imaginable and I can't remember ever feeling as bad as I did last Saturday. I woke up at 2:30 pm and proceeded to lay in bed for another hour before finally dragging myself to the bathroom. Solid food wasn't even an option until after 7:30 pm and the couch was the only place I felt comfortable. It was the same case today, except this time I had to go to work for 5 1/2 miserable hours.

It would have been okay if my head had ceased pounding for a few seconds or my stomach didn't feel like a war zone. I kept telling myself not to think about drilling a hole in my head to alleviate some of the pressure. All of my co-workers kept giving me funny looks, perhaps because I really did smell as bad as I thought I did or because I was laying my head on my desk the entire time.

I know they say that hangovers get worse as you get older, but I was one of those people who really believed I could handle anything. After all the hangovers I've had, I thought I was a pro. I mean, I used to work at a restaurant -- enough said. I mean, those people practically wrote the book on how to power through a hangover. We used to start work in the morning by downing cup after cup of coffee trying to stave off the urge to vomit as the chef told us the specials for the day. Then we would spend all day with a case of the liquor sweats while serving people food. The night wrapped up with us spending all of our tips on more alcohol and the cycle would begin again the next day. But sadly, that was more than 10 years ago and here I am complaining about having to sit at a desk and answer phone calls all day with a headache and nausea.

Getting older stinks. Everything gets harder, pain is prolonged and recovery times for ailments get longer. Is this what I have to get used to for the rest of my life, having to set aside an entire day to recover from a night of drinking? Oh 21-year-old self, did you ever think you'd be sitting on a couch sipping stale ginger ale and Shoprite brand Pink Bismuth because you were too cheap to buy the real Pepto Bismol? As I enter the third decade of my life I can only feel nostalgic for the buoyancy of youth. What's next wrinkle cream and hair color to hide the grays?

I guess I'll drink to that ... its about time for a little hair of the dog.